And now you know why she skipped her concession speech. We need to thank The Donald profusely for saving us from this Satanic witch, who, somewhere in a distant parallel universe, is plunging the world headlong into nuclear Armageddon and opening a portal to Hell through which rivers of grotesque, screeching, cackling demons are flooding in and feasting upon on our collective suffering in a hellish, global orgy of Judaically-instigated violence. Thank you, God. Thank you, President-elect Trump. Thank you.