Advice for Erdogan

My advice for Erdogan is based on my conviction that all is not lost. He can still repair Turkey’s relationship with Russia and Turkey’s international reputation, damaged by the downing of the Russian plane in Syrian air space as well as by the subsequent revelations that came to light regarding Turkey’s role in the fight against ISIS and Erdogan and his family’s involvement in illicit traffic of oil and other loot brought in by ISIS.

The excuses he has offered so far have not worked but I have a few suggestions that might do the trick. Here is what he might say:

1. We misidentified the Russian plane, confusing it with one of the ISIS Air Force, which are uncannily similar in appearance.

2. The American “leak” that contradicted the official US position and stated that the Russian plane was in the Syrian air space did not come from the US. It was an ISIS hacker seeking to confuse us, but we know that the US would never play dirty with us.

3. Bilal Erdogan does indeed engage in commerce with the oil stolen by ISIS but he is not my son. At the time of his conception I was traveling a lot. Does he even look like me?

Bilal Erdogan

4.  My daughter is indeed involved with the hospital that treats, not ISIS fighters but only the most moderate of the moderate opposition fighters against the regime of tyrant Assad. They are all Syrians. We can tell by their passports. It is a humanitarian endeavor of which we, like Israel, are proud. Fault us for being compassionate.

5. There is indeed an increase in Turkey in the traffic of artifacts of Syrian provenance but the motivation is not profit as much as Turkey’s historical interest in saving the artistic and historic patrimony of nations that do not deserve them (visit Topkapi).

6. We are a NATO member. Being in NATO means you never have to say “I am sorry.” Enough said.

PS.  Yes, it is a satire…